Is the Grass Really Greener? How to Know When It’s Time to Change Jobs

Career confidence, job searching and giving yourself permission to want more

"But what if the grass isn't greener somewhere else?"

It's something I hear a lot in career coaching.

You might have a job that's fine. The pay is okay. You know what you're doing. You've built relationships. You've been there long enough that it's comfortable.

But there's a little voice in your head saying, Is this really as good as my career gets?

Maybe you've stopped being challenged or you've simply outgrown the role. Maybe you're feeling completely deflated as you continually watch opportunities go to other people. Maybe you know you're capable of earning more.

Or perhaps nothing is particularly wrong... you just know you want more from your career.

As a career coach, this is where I often see the guilt creep in. You know the guilt, right?

I should be grateful to have this job. Other people would love this job. What if I leave and regret it? What if I can't find anything better? What if the grass isn't greener?

Here's the thing, my friend… and I really want you to hear this.

You're allowed to want a career that is more you!

Wanting more, from your career, doesn't mean you're ungrateful

Deciding whether it's time to change jobs isn't always about being unhappy. Sometimes it's about recognising that you've outgrown your current role, your priorities have changed, or there simply isn't room for the career progression you want.

Gone are the days when we have to sit in the same job for life. Ask my parents and they'd probably tell you that you're not supposed to be happy in your job. Keep your head down, do the work and be grateful you've got one.

But I say to hell with that.

We're here to live, and enjoying what you do, in your life and in your career, is worth investing in.

You can appreciate what your current job has given you and still be ready for something else. Those two things can exist at the same time.

Wanting a higher salary doesn't make you greedy.

Wanting more flexibility doesn't make you difficult.

Wanting better leadership doesn't make you disloyal.

Wanting career progression doesn't make you impatient.

And wanting work that actually feels meaningful doesn't make you unrealistic.

It means you're paying attention to what you need from the next stage of your career.

Before you change jobs, work out what's actually wrong in your career

Before you decide that you need a complete career change, ask yourself one really important question:

What is it that I'm actually unhappy with?

Let's make this a super quick check list...

• Is it the work itself?
• Your manager?
• The organisation?
• The salary?
• The lack of flexibility?
• The culture?
• The commute?
• The lack of career progression?

Or have you simply reached the point in your career, where there isn't enough challenge left in the role?

Because those answers matter.

You might discover that you don't need an entirely new career at all. You might need a different team, a better organisation, more responsibility, a salary conversation or an opportunity to develop.

Or you might realise, Yep. I'm done! 

Either way, the answer is okay.

And if you're navigating all this as a Defence Partner, your career has already had to fit around Defence postings, kids, everyone else's career dreams, even getting 5 mins to ask yourself what you actually want next can feel impossible. But that doesn't make the question any less important.. in fact it is the opposite.

Understanding why you want something different makes it much easier to work out what you're actually looking for next.

You don't have to quit your job to start looking

People often think that starting a job search means they've already decided to leave.

Nope.

Job searching is information gathering.

Looking at available roles doesn't mean you have to apply. Going to an interview doesn't mean you have to accept the job. And receiving an offer doesn't mean you have to say yes.

At every stage, you still get to choose.

In fact, one of the best times to start exploring career opportunities can be while you're still employed. There isn't the same desperation of I need to get out of here NOW.

Instead, you can get curious.

What's happening in the job market? What roles are out there? What are employers paying? Which of your transferable skills are in demand? What jobs are you naturally drawn towards? What would you need to develop to take the next step?

Suddenly, you're not sitting there wondering whether the grass might be greener. You're gathering real information that helps you make an informed career decision.

And that's what a good job search strategy should be about.

Career confidence comes from taking action

We often think confidence needs to arrive first.

When I feel more confident, I'll apply. When I'm completely ready, I'll put myself forward. When I know exactly what I want, I'll start looking.

But career confidence rarely works that way.

Confidence grows when you start doing things that show you what you're capable of.

Update your resume. Look at a few jobs. Have a conversation with someone in an industry you're interested in. Apply for something that's a bit of a stretch. Ask about the salary review. Put your hand up for the project.

And if you would actually like to stay where you are, tell your employer what you want.

I've worked with so many people who are frustrated because they haven't been offered opportunities to progress. Sometimes the organisation absolutely should be doing more. But I also ask: Have you actually told them what you want?

Not hinted. Not hoped they'd notice.

Actually told them.

I'd like to move into leadership. I'd like to take on more responsibility. I'm interested in developing my skills in this area. What do I need to demonstrate to be considered for the next opportunity?

That's career advocacy.

Before deciding the grass is greener somewhere else, it's worth finding out whether there's a patch of grass right where you are that you haven't explored yet.

But sometimes…the grass actually IS greener

Let's not pretend it isn't.

Sometimes another organisation will value your experience more. Sometimes another role will give you the flexibility you need. Sometimes there's a better salary available. Sometimes you'll find a manager who sees what you bring to the table.

Sometimes you'll discover an entirely different career path that makes you think:

Why didn't I do this years ago?

You don't know until you look.

A good job search isn't about firing off hundreds of applications and hoping something sticks. It's about understanding what you want, knowing what you bring, researching the job market and positioning yourself confidently for the right opportunities.

But what if you stayed?

Here's another question worth asking.

We spend a lot of time worrying about the risk of leaving.

But what about the risk of staying?

Where will you be in another 12 months if nothing changes? How will you feel? What opportunities might you have missed? What happens to your confidence if you keep telling yourself you should just be grateful for what you've got?

Sometimes staying is absolutely the right decision.

But I'd like it to be a decision — not something that happens because you're too scared to explore anything else.

Give yourself permission to want more

You don't need to hate your job before you're allowed to consider changing jobs or making a career change.

You don't need to be burnt out. You don't need a terrible boss. You don't need a dramatic reason to leave.

Sometimes I think I'm ready for more is enough.

So update the resume. Start exploring the job market. Look at your transferable skills. Have the career conversation. Ask the uncomfortable question. Put yourself forward.

And see what's out there.

Maybe the grass isn't greener. Maybe you discover that what you already have is actually pretty bloody good.

Or maybe you discover something better.

Either way, you'll know.

Because instead of putting your career on hold and wondering what if?, you backed yourself enough to find out. 

And that is what career confidence looks like.

If that little voice has been telling you that you're ready for something more, but you're not quite sure what that more looks like yet, that's exactly the sort of thing we can work through together.

You don't need to have the answer before you start exploring.

Give yourself permission to look.