Putting Yourself Back in the Picture Begins With Listening to What You Want

What should a Defence partner do about their career when a new posting comes up?

As a Defence partner, pause before you plan your career around a new posting and ask what you want from your career now. Work out what matters most, then explore your options: keeping your role remotely, finding work in the new location or changing direction. Your experience moves with you, and PEAP funding may help with career coaching.

Defence partner career confidence when a new posting turns everything upside down

Posting news has a way of making everyone very interested in what happens next.

Where will you live? What about the schools? When do the removalists come? Does the dog need to travel separately? And why does every form seem to need information you don’t have yet?

Then someone asks, “So what are you going to do about work?”

Excellent question. I was hoping we could get through at least one cup of coffee before that one.

When you’re a Defence partner, a new posting can affect far more than your address. It can interrupt a job you enjoy, put a promotion within reach and then out of reach again, or leave you wondering whether the career you’ve worked hard to build can come with you.

I know how easy it is to put your own plans in the “I’ll deal with that later” pile. I’ve lived Defence life, and I’ve worked with so many partners who are brilliant at making the move work for everyone else. But somewhere among the lists, logistics and decisions, they’ve stopped asking what they want.

Before you make a career plan for you new defence posting, listen to yourself

You may already be trying to work out whether to tell your employer about the posting, ask to keep your role remotely, look for work in the new location or wait until you arrive.

Those are important questions. But before you rush to answer them, I want to ask you a different one:

What do you want from your career now?

Not what seems easiest for the posting. Not what you think you should be grateful for. What do you want?

Perhaps you love your current job and want to explore every possibility for keeping it. Perhaps it’s time to leave, but you’d like your next role to build on your experience instead of feeling like another fresh start. Perhaps you’re not sure yet. That’s okay too.

A posting brings constraints, and I’m never going to pretend you can wish those away. But you deserve to know what you’re working towards before you decide which compromises you’re willing to make.

Your voice belongs in the conversation

Years ago, a manager said something to me that I’ve carried ever since: “I don’t think you know how powerful your voice is. When you speak, others follow.”

I didn’t fully believe her at the time.

More recently, after 28 years away from singing, I stepped back on stage. The songs I choose are about being heard. Singing them has made me think about all the other places I’ve needed to use my voice, especially when it would have been easier to stay quiet.

That’s what I want for the Defence partners I work with. I’m not asking you to grab a microphone and belt out a power ballad in the middle of your next posting meeting. Although, honestly, that would be quite an entrance.

I mean being able to say, “This job matters to me.” Or, “I’d like to ask whether I can continue working remotely.” Or even, “I don’t know what I want yet, but I need some time to work it out.”

Your career is part of this move. Your voice belongs in the decisions about it.

Start with what matters to you now

If that big question feels impossible to answer, make it smaller.

Think about the work you want more of. What gives you energy? What are you proud of having built? What do you need from a role at this stage of your life: flexibility, challenge, a supportive team, a better salary, room to grow?

Then think about your boundaries. What have you been agreeing to because it made the last posting easier, even though it no longer works for you? What would you like to speak up about this time?

You don’t need to turn those thoughts into a five-year plan by Friday. You’re simply giving yourself a chance to hear what you’ve been trying to tell yourself.

From there, you can explore real options. You might speak with your employer about staying in your role, research the local job market, refresh your resume or decide that this posting is an opportunity to change direction. You get to gather information before you make a decision.

And please remember: you are not starting your career again. Your experience, skills and career wins move with you, even if the postcode changes.

PEAP Funding: You can ask for support with this

Defence Member and Family Support (DMFS) administers the Partner Employment Assistance Program (PEAP). Eligible partners of Australian Defence Force members may be able to claim reimbursement of up to $1,500 per financial year for approved employment costs, including career support and coaching.

If you’re thinking of using PEAP, check your eligibility and register before accessing services. It’s support that may help you spend time on your own career direction, instead of trying to squeeze that thinking in between everything else a posting demands.

Not sure how PEAP works? My free guide, Don't Settle, walks you through exactly how to use the funding. Download the free Don't Settle guide here.

You don’t have to figure out every step alone. And you certainly don’t have to wait until the boxes are unpacked to remember that your career matters.

Come and put yourself back in the picture

On Wednesday 14 October at 7:30pm AEST (Brisbane time), which is 8:30pm AEDT in Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne, I’m hosting New Posting, New You: What do you want from your career now? It’s a free 45-minute masterclass for Defence partners.

We’ll take a moment away from the posting noise, reconnect with what you want and find one practical place to begin. No enormous new to-do list. Just some space for you.

Register for the free masterclass here. If you can’t join live, register anyway and I’ll send you the replay.

Because career confidence starts with you.